A few months I reported my starter became possessed by poltergeists and was activating itself with the key in the off position. So. No big deal, disconnect the battery, buy another NAPA starter [perhaps still under warranty from two years ago] and be done with it after a quick-tow to my nearby Local Wrench. The resultant epic story would do any of the longer winded Russian authors proud! [I am on Solzhenitsyn's second of three volumes and I believe one of the smaller gulag humorous anecdotes would be my own contribution. Much of Solzhenitsyn is not just comic. He is hilariously comic.] My problem was a simple one. The poltergeists attacked me - not just with my pants down but both windows down. At the time I did not understand the malevolence and cunning these wicked spirits can bring to bear upon the unwary pilgrim! With these orifices open to intrusion by whatever malefactorum might happen upon my Prugna Metallica it seemed simple prudence on my part to close these two windows so that my dear beloved Contessa would be protected from the elements should the tow-and-park encounter inclement weather. Read that long sentence once again and I assure you it is as too "Dick and Jane" as a mechanical window crank is to obtaining a window crank for a 1986 Mondial. Or is it the reverse? It might be either or and both at the same time for all that matters!. First of all, my owners manual clearly, Very Clearly SHOWS a window crank, where to insert it should the Italian electrics ever fail [not that such a thing would actually happen in the first place] and thus be done with it. Stupid stupid be EYE. These several years now I have been smug smug smug in my certain knowledge that should my good-as-dead passenger window fail I had, at my instant disposal, the glorious auxiliary window crank from my very own and original tool kit! How much more satisfying could you get? So out goes EYE to my tool kit for the purpose of smugly closing the windows for the anticipated short tow. To understand the consternation that eventually swept over me like a 1,000 year tsunami you really really need to read one of those long winded Russian authors. Was it not such an author who wrote 'War and Peace'? Not only was there no window crank there was not even an empty space where such a window crank should have been found. What! Quick call to Ferrari independent parts supplier. "Oh. THOSE things. Yes, there are such things, or so we have been led to believer, but never ever have we been aware that one single one was ever delivered with a Ferrari in this market. Perhaps in Europe?" ME: "I wand to buy one." One what. "Window crank." Never seen one. "Can you get one?" I don't know. Several interment searches later I encounter a the exact beveled crank I need and it was offered for sale. "I want to buy the window crank displayed in your internet add." Sure thing, I will send it two day delivery. "Thank you." Six days later no crank. "I did not get the crank." Oh let me look up the order. Oh! It was on back order and is scheduled for delivery TODAY. I will ship it out Right Away." A few days letter said package arrives and I set it proudly aside for the holidays after which I will haughtily delivered The Contessa for her early Spring wake up call. I think of it as a sort of botox for my lovely lady. WHAT? The TSAR has sent me WHAT! Perhaps a crank for a Pinto!?" Where is Dostoevsky when you really need him! But that is all for the moment. There is more. Much much more. But out of the need for comfort I am returning to my reading of Gulag Archipelago.