Post a random fact about yourself

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

 

I was one of the guys in "MTV Spring Break Undercover 1997", the one with the guys from Florida State and the girls from NC State. Just wish I could find a copy of that tape!

 

I weigh 840 pounds.

 

hmmm....

I've been skiing 37 years.

On the snow. The other kind is called 'water skiing'.

 

I'm in desperate need of a Ferrari.

 

I took 2nd in the State High Jump Finals





EDIT: Damn you Darth, when i saw this thread that was my first thought on what I should post!

 

May I call you Dr.?

 

.
Image Unavailable, Please Login
Image Unavailable, Please Login
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

I broke three records when I was 18

Antony

 

i can't lick my elbow.

 

I can stick out my tongue and touch the tip of my nose.......




















with either my right or left hand!

John

 

I know somebody that was born on the day that Marilyn Monroe died: August 5th, 1962. (and she is also blonde.) Reincarnation???

 

damn darth beat me to it.

i have a crooked finger as a result of sticking it in a light socket when i was 3.

 

I'm have dual citizenship. I can't straighten my right pinkie-finger because I got it crushed in the tail-gate of a dump truck when I was 12. 3 surgeries later....well, its there, at least.

 

I can put my goatee in my mouth and also in my nostrils.

 

I was run over by a sailboat in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay while not wearing a life vest. Had I lost consciousness I would not be typing this today.

 

I wrecked on my jet ski last summer. Flew over the handle bars and landed on my arse going about 40-50mph. I was leaking lake water from my arse the whole way home.

 

You could almost hear Stewie from Family Guy reciting this.

 

Dr. Evil says it in the first Austin Powers movie. Its one of the best quotes to memorize from a movie, ive almost got the whole thing.

 

I won a pink moped when I was 15.

 

I never had any aunts nor uncles

 

People have to tell me these things. I've been frozen for thirty years, throw me a bone here.

 

I have a 3 handicap in golf, and Darth doesn't!!!!