Hans Hahnkase is an engineer on the much-delayed "1,000bhp" Bugatti Veyron. Here he gives us some exclusive extracts from his personal diary: 14th February 2004 My boss, Dr. Fleishmenstereinher, has been told by Herr Piscschsthreiderer to re-evaluate the Veyron's steering. personally i think it should have it. On the other hand, getting rid of steering couldn't make the handling any more difficult and, of course, removing the entire mecahnism may give more room to fit in a couple of extra turbos I told Dr. Fleishmenstereinher this. He got very cross. 27th February 2004 We are disturbed by reports of a Swedish car called the Koeniggseggeggsegg CCR which is hoing to smash 250mph very soon. However, I am confisent that the compant will not succeed. No-one is interested in a car they cannoe spell. They are interested in a car like ours, which they cannot buy. Ever. 31st February 2004 I am writing this in my special Bugatti Veyron leather-bound diary. I pointed out to Dr. Fleishmenstereinher that there is no 31st of February and that perhaps we had made another unrealistic projection. He got very cross. 14th March 2004 Our marketing people are insisting that the Veyron must be the absolute ultimate in luxury. I have tried to tell them that hand-stitched leather is not a suitable material from which to make a turbo. "Oh, just one of them" they complained. Fine, I said, but then it won't match the other seven. 6th April 2004 Dr. Fleishmenstereinher came to the laboratory today. He was admiring the unit hanging from two 250kg cranes in the centre of the workshop. "I like the neatness of the powerplant," he said. "But where are the turbos?" I told him he was looking at one of them, the engine was in the next room. He got very cross. 23rd June 2004 Eureka! We have found a space to accommodate two extra large turbos. 1,000 hoursepower here we come! 24th June 2004 Dr. Fleishmenstereinher came by again to inspect the engineering drawings. He asked where the space for the driver and passenger had gone. Damn! 7th July 2004 I like ponies. I would like a brown pony. TOday at school Heidi Weismann stole my pencil crayons. She is not my best friend any more. 8th July 2004 My Daughter has returned my diary. 20th August 2004 We have asked to provide a final doncument on the precise handbuilt production methods for the Veyron and the date for delivery of the first customer cars. Using complex computer modelling to incorporate future techniques as the current rate of progress on the car, I have firmly decided that it will be built by special space monkeys. I look forward to seeing that first customer car, from my house on the moon. 10th October 2004 A fax arrived in the office this morning. Is it from a Mr. G. Murray of Surrey, England. The message reads simply, "Ha!"
ROTFLMAO The French Bugatti's were all built between 1909-1963 when the factory was taken over by Hispano and became part of the Messier-Hispano-Bugatti company!!! What Volkswagen today is doing to the Marque has nothing whatsoever to do with a Bugatti......Nice car, and probably also great quality of build and all....perhaps even a Great Automobile when it eventually gets to the customers, but it's just not a Bugatti......it's a VW with a wrong badge!!! Best Carsten
Well ... as much as I dislike what VW has done with Bentley, I have to say I'm not that repulsed with how they handle Bugatti. The extravagance of the car (its specs, at least) makes it IMHO worthy of its badge. Sure, it's cheating with the turbos and the engine is far from being the sculpture it was supposed to be ... and Veyron wasn't necesserily the best chosen name according to his relationship with Bugatti ... but what can we do? BTW, that text is from Top Gear magazine (not me) ... and is indeed frickin' hilarious!
