The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, At the gates of heaven.... | FerrariChat

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, At the gates of heaven....

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by jonesn, Oct 25, 2004.

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  1. jonesn

    jonesn Formula Junior

    Nov 2, 2003
    845
    STL-MO
    Full Name:
    Evan "Trouble" Jones
    The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

    Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

    God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?!"

    Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..."

    God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?!"

    Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

    God said, "Ah, yes."

    Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some design
    flaws in your invention:

    1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
    2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
    3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
    4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
    5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

    Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to His Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

    Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

    :)
     
  2. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
    Tauranga, NZ
    Full Name:
    Pete
    Harley Davidsons were not invented ... an aircraft engine was butchered and chucked in a frame, and utter cr@p resulted.

    If Arthur had been able to do maths he would have cut different cylinders out of the radial aircraft engine so that it was balanced ... and a 90 degree twin would have resulted.

    Pete
     
  3. gentry

    gentry Guest

    With as much crap is talked about Harleys, there sure are a hell-uv-alot of them on the road, and even more that are older than most of the people on this board. Maintanance. Just like a Ferrari.

    Its just a different culture and it is something that brings people together, so why knock it? Then again, ricers bring people together, and I knock them.
     
  4. stevep

    stevep F1 Veteran

    Jan 19, 2004
    8,345
    Geordie Land
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    steve
    had a good giggle
     
  5. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
    Tauranga, NZ
    Full Name:
    Pete
    I just cannot believe that somebody took an eight cylinder radial engine, in perfect balance, and removed 6 cylinders leaving a permanently fncked and unbalanced disaster of an engine. He could have removed any 6 cylinders ... made a flat twin, a 90 degree twin ...

    Agree, but while Ferraris require maintenance they are not founded on flawed engineering. Saying that the first car made under Enzo failed with a broken crankshaft ... and considering all they were doing was joining to FIAT 4 cylinders together, probably the only part they made failed ;)

    From then on they got it pretty right. Harley stuck with the 45 degree and thus consigned themselves to a balance issue ... which has now become a trademark.

    Anyway, yep they sell ... but engineers don't buy Harleys, not self respecting ones surely.

    Pete ;)
     
  6. infraredline

    infraredline Formula 3

    Mar 15, 2004
    1,036
    San Francisco
    Full Name:
    John
    Haha: "intake is placed way too close to the exhaust." That's a punch-line in itself.

    IMO though Harley's are ancient technology that's rough for the sake of being rough. I mean I like old bikes, but I'll take them geniune like something I can remember like a Yamaha Seca Turbo (1982 650cc 4-cyl turbo ~ 80HP) or something. It's an interesting bike, and riding it is unlike nothing you can buy new, so it just makes sense to give it a go down that road. Performance will never be on par with an R6, but i wouldn't be paying Harley prices for my retroness either.
     
  7. mk e

    mk e F1 World Champ

    Oct 31, 2003
    13,557
    The twilight zone
    Full Name:
    The Butcher
    Your point is valid, but believe it or not, a lot of us engineers own them...a novelty thing I guess. I was even dumb enough to build a new frame and take mine roadracing. It was a lot of work, but well worth it to see the look on a Ducati owns face after the race looking at the ground, shaking his head and mumbling “I got passed by a Harley?” :)
     
  8. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
    Tauranga, NZ
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    Pete
    Would be interested to see a photo ... I do admit that some sure look cool.

    Pete
     
  9. ArtS

    ArtS F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Nov 11, 2003
    12,344
    Central NJ
    Great Joke!

    Here is another one:

    Q: What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover (Vacuum)?

    A: The location of the dirt bag.


    Pete,

    Two points:
    1. Radial engines are balanced with an odd number of cylinders per row.

    2. The Harley V-twin was invented in 1909. The reason it is out of balance is that very little engineering was involved. They literally drilled a hole in the crank case of the single cylinder engine they had and attached the second connecting rod to the existing crank pin.

    That said, the old ones are still the greatest!

    Regards,

    Art S.
     
  10. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
    Tauranga, NZ
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    Pete
    Arh, thus the aircraft engine was a nine cylinder not an 8 ... thus the story that I was told that they cut 2 cylinders out of an aircraft engine is wrong. IMO this makes it even worse ... thus the idiot choose 45 degrees as the angle :confused:

    Yep aware of that. I can forgive a little for that lack of engineering in 1909 ... but the company decided to found itself on that 'lack of engineering' philosophy, because until the Japanese and now Porsche got involved the engineering of their bikes was a complete joke, and hardly changed from that first bike in 1909 ... according to a friend of my fathers who is, or used to be, a Harley bike mechanic. I quote this person: "They are designed to fail".

    But they have their place on the road ...
    Pete
     
  11. LA Swede

    LA Swede Formula Junior

    Dec 5, 2003
    373
    SoCal

    DAMN, both my bikes must have some design/manufacturing flaw! I bought a new 1996 Sportster in 95 which has not had a single problem in more than nine years and 50,000 miles. This year I got a 2004 Road King which now has 15,000 miles on it, also no problems.

    Can I sue HD?
     
  12. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
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    Pete
    I think you can thank Yamaha for that. My understanding is that Yamaha once owned HD and redesigned many things ... thus my quote would not apply for such modern machinery.

    50,000 miles on a bike is impressive!
    Pete
     
  13. justhrowit

    justhrowit Formula 3

    Feb 12, 2004
    1,027
    Dallas
    Full Name:
    Jay D.

    I don't think Harley was ever owned by Yamaha.
     
  14. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
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    Pete
    Well some Japanese company was heavily involved. I used to work for Anderson Consulting and they were involved in a new stock control system ... and it was an initiative by a Japanese motorcycle manufacturer FOR HD.

    I'll double check with some motorcycle friends.
    Pete
     
  15. GrigioGuy

    GrigioGuy Splenda Daddy
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Nov 26, 2001
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    Merritt Tockkrazy
    HD has never been owned by another motorcycle company.

    During the late 60s and early 70s they were owned by AMF, which also produced bowling balls and golf carts. The worst of the HD reliability stories come from that era. Modern HDs are decent bikes. Much like the Porsche 911, they have used technology to overcome the basic design defect, and have transformed the defect into "character"
     
  16. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
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    Pete
    That is a great sentence, and I guess with 50,000 miles (refer LA Swedes post) on a modern HD, appropriate too.

    Though not sure where the technology is (?) ... until the new Porsche designed engine came along.

    Pete
     
  17. Simon

    Simon Moderator
    Moderator Owner

    Aug 29, 2003
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    Just as a little bit of interesting info...there's a very large private bike collection close to me. The guy own 2 or 3 HD's with boxer engines.

    They were prepared for the North Africa campaign in '43 but were never used. They were a blatant copy of the BMW bikes the german forces used with much better reliabilty. I think they are the only examples remaining and may be the only HD that didn't use a V. (Someone correct me here...they may be as common as horse **** :D)

    Cheers
    Simon
     
  18. GrigioGuy

    GrigioGuy Splenda Daddy
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    Nov 26, 2001
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    The Harley Davidson XA

    See http://www.conansclassics.com/harxahis.html

    Nope. Early HDs were single cylinder bikes. There were also several small Harley-branded singles in the 50s and 60s. Even today, you can buy a Buell Blast which is essentially a single-cylinder Sportster engine in a sportbike frame
     
  19. LA Swede

    LA Swede Formula Junior

    Dec 5, 2003
    373
    SoCal

    One of those smaller HD's was the Harley Topper "vespa" (does anyone think that Topper Harley (Charlie Sheen) from the movie Hot Shots was named after this little bike)

    here is a link to it:

    http://home.ama-cycle.org/forms/museum/classic/bike.asp?id=83

    regarding longevity of HD's. when I picked up my Road King, there was a bike outside the dealer with HD's official mileage program badges on it.

    it had the 500,000 mile badge!

    there was probably an engine rebuild or two on that bike, but still.
     
  20. ArtS

    ArtS F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Nov 11, 2003
    12,344
    Central NJ
    Harley also built a sport bike with a boxer configuration from 1919 until the early 1920's. It was good for its time but more popular in Europe than in the states. This was a neat bike that was well engineered but I think they lost money on it.

    Art S.
     
  21. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
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    Pete
  22. Texas Forever

    Texas Forever Eight Time F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed

    Apr 28, 2003
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    Texas!
    #22 Texas Forever, Oct 27, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  23. LA Swede

    LA Swede Formula Junior

    Dec 5, 2003
    373
    SoCal
    Here is another interesting thing. My new Road King came with a 7 year UNLIMITED miles warranty! I was impressed, I don't think even Toyota offers that. Granted, the service intervals on a bike are a little tighter, but still.

    Even the TIRES are covered, but only if you get a flat or a nail, not normal wear and tear.
     
  24. 4RECCCXLVIII

    4RECCCXLVIII Karting

    Oct 10, 2004
    84
    East TN
    Full Name:
    John
    0-60 in .7 seconds, 45 degrees seems to work for these guys
    http://www.zodiac.nl/dragrace/index2.htm
     
  25. PSk

    PSk F1 World Champ

    Nov 20, 2002
    17,673
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    Pete
    Wow that would be a wild ride!!! :D

    BUT in the end and with enough money ... you can make hp from anything, you could even drag race a Ducati (in between valve adjustments ;)). I also doubt very much if there is even a single genuine Harley bolt on those bikes ;)

    Pete
     

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