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Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by gentry, Aug 4, 2004.
With a growling voice.......
"One of these days, I'm going to cut you into little pieces"
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"A gentleman is never unintentionally rude." La Rouchefoucauld.
"I would rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." Tom Waits
"I am dying beyond my means." Oscar Wilde- while on his deathbed at the Parisian hotel now known as L'Hotel
"Some day, this war is gonna end." Robert Duval, in Apocalypse Now
"A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool usually has his suspicions." Wilson Mizner (Who also said, "copy one author and its plagarism; copy two and its research").
And finally, one close to my passion, since it involves the question of originality of thought:
"Original minds are distinguished not by being the first to see a new thing, but by seeing the old, well-known thing, which is seen and overlooked by every one, as something new. The first discoverer is usually that quite ordinary and unintellectual visionary- chance." Fred Nietzsche.
Ive always liked several quotes relating to work...
"If people knew how hard I worked to achieve my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all."
"I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work."
Harry S. Truman
I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; They came by work.
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work. "
And for some comic relief...
"We're gonna murder those Hun bastards by the buschel!" - Gen. Patton (great movie)
"Trying is the first step on the road to failure." - Homer J. Simpson
Straying from the topic a little more...
My tombstone will say
I Have Become
- just dying to see that.
"YOUR DAMNED IF YOU DO, AND YOUR DAMNED IF YOU DON'T."
by, BART SIMPSON
"If it sounds to good to be true it probably it is."
by, they say
"road kill, the red necks Beef Jerky"
a quote nah....aahhh whatever
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"
I need to remember that one.
Too late it seems.
Never too late.
For me "never" was "two minutes" ago.
The immortal Winston Churchill had a lot to say and we are eternally grateful for it ...
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- (replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A sheep in sheep's clothing (On Clement Atlee)
A modest man, who has much to be modest about (On Clement Atlee)
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
An old proverb there is, and that most true--a living dog is better than a dead lion.
Golf is a game who's aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
It is well said, there is nothing wrong in change if it is in the right direction.
Mr. Chamberlain loves the working man, he loves to see him work.
Mr. Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right
Two that I like and apply well to some of the various forums here
"It is much easier to be critical than to be correct" - Benjamin Disraeli
"Small things amuse small minds"
"Lesson number one, don't underestimate THE OTHER GUY'S GREED!"
Robert Loggia, Scarface.
he who asks a question is a fool for five minutes, he who doesnt, is a fool for a life time. not sure who it is, but it kind of ties into the whole forum world.
For the benefit of the historians in the Silver Forum,
here's the G-Man's "Stinky Nasty B!tches" thread" that the above link doesn't open:
"Well, that's just like your opinion, man." - The Dude
"You're out of your element [insert name here]."
"You're entering a world of pain, have your ever heard of Vietnam?"
I just read that whole thing he wrote. The mental image of Gentry in the shower won't go away The fact that he had to buy a special shower rod to have adequate space to shower didn't help with the image either.
Just in case there is a nuclear accident in Texas and Houston becomes a glass skating rink, here is the text from the G-man's finest work: "Stinky Nasty B!tches" in its entirety.
I swear this is the funniest thing I have ever read, Its my FAVORITE QUOTE!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Edit: I can't stop reading this thing, its like a bad car wreck. I love points 6, 9 and 20 especially.
Stinky nasty *****es
ok. Im posting this because I smelled someone last night at Alamo Draft house that was truly offensive. I won't say I know who it was, but I know the person posts here. Here is something I wrote up a while ago.
And while we aren't always expected to smell wonderful, lets at least try to make sure we arent rank before we go out to a place where people are in such close proximity. I always ask people if I stink. Everyone else should to, and be honest when someone asks you. Wouldnt you rather know if you stink while still at home and can take a shower? Anyway...
here you go: Keep in mind this is in a different context.
my ass is too big to shave, but when I lose weight, Ill do it.
I already trim my pubes and shave my pits.
It helps with body odor control (those of you who know me know Im paranoid of body odor, even on stupid days when I havent been within 50 miles of a shower for 3 days or more).
A human should never go more than two days without a shower. A lazy day not showering is acceptable and generally odor free supposing you did nothing to produce body odor. A simple application of antiperspirant/deoderant or some body spray should suffice if you have to go out that day without showering. If you go past that lazy day, you will start to wreak, and even worse, make yourself much more susceptible (sp) to acne, infections, chafing, and more unsavory problems.
SO remember, if you are worried about hygene and body odor...
1. Brush twice daily.
2. Shower at least once (you can brush your teeth in the shower, it saves time).
3. When shaving, make sure to shower first. This softens the hair and makes it easier.
4. Shave your pits and trim your pubes. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend that goes down on you, they will appreciate it.
5. Use deoderant if you do not perspire alot. If you are at all over-weight, or sweat like GodLike does, you need to use Antiperspirant/Deoderant combination. It doesnt hurt to apply it under your rolls and man-boobs. I HIGHLY recommend Old Spice Red Zone. Best out.
6. Use body spray. Axe, Old Spice, whatever. Make sure it works with your body chemistry. Do a light spraying before dressing. Then after dressing, another light spraying. Keep a bottle of this in your car or backpack for quick freshen-ups. I often call it shower-in-a-can.
7. Old Spice has one of the coolest products out. Their cool wipes. They are moist towels for you to use after a sweat-incident. They work. Wipe your neck, chest, pits (and sometimes your crotch) and you should be good to go.
8. When taking a dump, dont just use toilet paper. Cottonelle and Charmin both have moist toilet wipes that make sure you go that extra mile when it comes to anal-hygene. If you have ever wondered why you get skidmarks, alot of the time it is from sweat dripping down your ass crack and picking up the wonderful brown color just before depositing it on your tighty whities (this leads to tip #9). Baby wipes will work just as well, but usually are scented.
9. DONT WEAR WHITE UNDERWEAR. It matters not how much hygene you practice. There are going to be times, whether its after a heavy mexican meal, a long game of touch football with your pals, or a long walk in 100 degree weather between classes on your campus, you will end up with skidmarks. If you do insist on wearing white, for gods sake, invest in BLEACH. If you follow some simple hygene rules, you can pretty much avoid skidmarks though. They should be reserved for those under the age of 13.
10. Keep sugarfree gum or mints around. Sugarfree is important. Using gum or mints with sugar will only cause more bad breath as the sugar ferments and helps more bacteria grow. Your best bet are the listerine strips. There is also a great oral care product called BreathRX, it rocks.
11. When brushing, use a tongue scraper. Most bad breath comes from the bacteria on your tongue. If you look at most peoples tongues, they seem to have a white coating on them. Those are the food particles and bacteria that are causing bad breath. Brushing your tongue isnt enough. The previously mentioned BreathRX kit comes with a tongue scraper, but you can buy one cheap @ the drug store or grocery store.
12. Shower, dont bathe. Taking baths are fine for relaxing, but not for cleaning.
13. When showering, use a good soap. I recommend any of the Old Spice products. Their bar soap is great and their body was is even better. I use both depending on how much time I have. Maxim (and myself) recommend that every man on the planet should use the Old Spice line of products.
14. Make your shower a comfortable place. I did this by installing a curved shower rod to give me more room and installing a Cascadia rain showerhead. But do whatever it takes to make you comfortable. If you are comfortable, you are more likely to do a good job, and believe it or not, take less time.
15. Don't just shake it when you pee. Take an extra minute and use some toilet paper to dab. Call it pee-dabbing. But it is just another way you can go that extra step toward personal hygene.
16. Get into doing these things at certain times every day so that they become habit.
17. Dont let your facial hair get out of control. It should be kept trimmed and shaved. 5'oclock shadows are NOT cool. If you have facial hair (like I do) invest in a good trimmer that you can control the length with. Curly facial hair == bad. It means it is too long.
18. For shaving, invest in a good razor (I recommend Mach3 Turbo, best razor out), a shaving cream warmer, and some good soft terry cloth towels for use when shaving only.
Step 1: Bath
Step 2: Apply warm shaving cream
Step 3: (optional) Use a warm towel on your face.
Step 4: (optional) After a few minutes, remove the shaving cream with a soft, warm, damp towel. THis is especially helpful if you have to navigate facial hair.
Step 5: Shave. Rule of thumb is shave your cheeks first. Then mustache. Then neck. Give your neck some extra time to soften up. You are not generally supposed to shave against the grain, but with the Mach3 Turbo, this is alright.
Step 6: Rinse and remove remaining shave cream.
Step 7: Touch test and look for places you missed or places you need to go over again. You do not need to re-apply shave cream for this.
Step 8: Rinse again and apply after shave.
I recommend FOAM shave cream, but the gels work just as well. The foam works better out of a warmer though.
19. WASH YOUR FEET EVERY DAY. Some baby power or insoles wont kill you either.
20. DO NOT SPRAY COLOGNE ON YOUR CROTCH.
To some of you, this might seem fanatical, but you will notice a difference. It will make you feel better about yourself and will ultimately reflect well on yourself. Pampering yourself and doing a full cleanliness regiment regularly can really boost your self esteem as well.
I might actually write this up a little more professionally and organize it a little better.
Here are links to products Ive recommended:
Old Spice Line:
Deoderant / Antipersirant (I recommend REDZONE at the top)
Body Spray (Shower in a Bottle)
(Not listed are the moist towels and body wash)
Barbasol (I like original)
Shave Cream Heater:
ConAir Hot Lather Machine (I own this one)
Mach3 Turbo (By Gillete)
Cottonelle Moist Wipes (I use these)
Cottonelle Roll Dispenser (I own this too)
Charmin Fresh Mates
(I also recommend their toilet paper as it doesnt break up and leave debris)
BreathRX (Highly recommend this)
Cascadia by Waterpik
Curved Shower Rods
ConAir 3 in 1 Trimmer Combo (Great deal, I own one)
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Its actually "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, he won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country"
It's my favorite quote, good ol' Patton
On a tombstone somewhere:
As you were, so once was I
As I am, so you shall be.
"It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool." -- FLCL
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
"lets hug it out *****"
You have a PM.