NASCAR VS F1 Notice: If you do not have a sense of humor or take life too seriously, please do NOT read. Its just a sport, not life or death. Please feel free to add to this list. These are SOME of the subtle and minor differences between NASCAR* and F1. *NASCAR acronym stands for: Ner-do-wells, Nincompoops, Nerds, Numbnuts, Numskulls or Ninnies (your choice) Against Sports Cars And for Rednecks OR What does NASCAR stand for? Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around REDNECKS Now, some of you might think I dont like and respect NASCAR. Au contraire, mon ami. I LOVE NASCAR as the following impartial and totally objective review of the facts will show. Favorite Sports of the Drivers in the OFF season: F1: Skiing in St. Moritz, sailing on their yachts in the Mediterranean Sea. NASCAR: Participate in bass fishing tournaments. Drivers Girlfriend Type: F1: Super models. NASCAR: Hooters girls. (I like Hooters girls) What Drivers do After a Race: F1: Get on their private jet and decide which exotic place to fly to. NASCAR: Get in their pickup and decide if they will put a rifle or a shotgun in the back window. Drivers Favorite Wines: F1: Opus One, Chateau Lafitte Rothschild, Ferrari-Carano Cabernet Sauvignon. NASCAR: Boones Farm, Busch Light, Budweiser (well they think theyre wines). Fans Favorite Music: F1: The sound of a Ferrari at FULL SONG going down the straightaway. NASCAR: Gretchen Wilson singing Im A Redneck Woman. Favorite radio program: F1: Car Talk on NPR. NASCAR: The Grand Ole Opry. Favorite Movies: F1: Thomas Crown Affair, James Bond, Grand Prix, Le Mans, Bullit NASCAR: Days of Thunder, Thunder Road, Ma and Pa Kettle, Smokey and the Bandit, Talladega Nights. Favorite TV Programs: F1: 24, Boston Legal, anything on Speed TV, the stock market report. NASCAR: Hee Haw, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Reba McIntyre Show, Gomer Pyle, Green Acres, Petticoat Junction, Mayberry RFD, The Gong Show, the daily crop report. Favorite Repast After a Race: F1: Champaign and caviar. NASCAR: Beer and hot wings. Favorite Female Musical Group: F1: The Spice Girls. NASCAR: The Dixie Chicks. Drivers Dream Home: F1: A private island getaway in the tropics. NASCAR: A doublewide with satellite TV in the boonies. Drivers Daily Driver: F1: Ferrari FXX NASCAR: Diesel Pickup Truck with doolie wheels Names of Famous Races: F1: Monte Carlo, Silverstone, Monza, Spa-Francorchamps, Nevers Magny-Cours NASCAR: The Stained Hanes 500, Pepto Bismol Goodretch 250, Goodys Not Tonite, Ive Got A Headache Powders 400, Kevorkians Diehard 200, Pricks in the Desert Phoenix Cactus Classic, The Viagra All Night Enduro 500. Biggest Jokesters in the Sport: F1: Bernie Ecclestone and Kimi Raikkonnen (someone saw him smile once). NASCAR: Jeff Foxworthy and The Cable Guy. What NASCAR Fans call F1 Fans: Snobs What F1 Fans call NASCAR Fans: Slobs Fans Financial and Social Status: F1: Millionaire or millionaire wannabe. NASCAR: Welfare recipient or welfare recipient wannabe. Fans Exercise Equipment: F1: Stair stepper with heart monitor. NASCAR: Treadmill with an ashtray and beer can holder. Ciao Phil Not Hill aka Dr. Phil Life is to short not to own a Ferrari and be an F1 fan. Forza Ferrari. Now, go take on the day, Tifosi.
Was this an attempt at being funny or just being stupid? Basically just a rehash post. Spice Girls? Even Jeff Foxworthy is more creative.
I'm so much into this NASCAR thing with the Daytona 500 and all, I'm having a beer right now. I used to only drink on days that end in Y. Now I only drink on days that end in T: Today and Tomorrow.
Interestingly enough, most of the programs on Speed TV are NASCAR stuff. F1 drivers must really like it....
I have trubble spellling. Eye wil tri tu impruv. Most important thing to do before a race: F1: Make sure the car is as fast and reliable as possible. NASCAR: Make sure every inch is covered with advertising and that the decals are placed on the car perfectly.
At this very minute I am watching this on Speed TV. It's sort of like the Gong Show. Michael Waltrip and another young man and young woman (all with southern accents) judge the "talent". A gal who has a Nascar tattoo on her rear end. Real classy. A young man who strips down to his shorts and puts Nascar decals all over his body. He has #26 in black on his teeth. Another guy who looks like Larry the cable guy played the guitar and "sang" a song he wrote about Nascar. Awful. Another young girl wears a bikini with red bottoms with a blue and white polka-dot top to be patiotic and carries a large sign to the races about the benefits of drinking beer. She is a professional substance abuse counselor. they all remembered her from the Martinsville race. Classy. All these people have southern accents. All of these people were praised by Waltrip and the other moderators. They all made it to the next level. From thousands they have narrowed it down to 24. Waltrip showed how he can put his foot behind his head. Real Class. I can't take any more. time to start drinkin.
