Marriage without kids.... anyone want?

You're not alone. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone talk you into having kids. You may have to wait until you find a woman too old to have kids before you get married, so what? Until then, play the field. As long as you're honest about your position, then it's her problem if she wants to "change" you.

Hell, go get a vasectomy and then you can just tell women you CAN'T have kids.

 

I didn't want kids, and we didn't have kids, and we are near 50.

Reason being, I'm scared to death of what this world will be like for them in, say, 20-30 years, economically, militarily, politically, and environment-wise.

I've been thru a corporate downsizing 5 years ago, and then a different company closed on me 4 months ago, it hasn't been good for us, luckily we have almost no debt and are doing well. For now.

 

I think that people's wanting or not wanting children is a manifestation of natural selection... in a backhanded sort of way. Same with abortion.

 

I can relate to those very thoughts. It is a complete act of cruelty to want to bring children into this world.

 

I have a friend who got married at about 43. First he wasn't ever going to get married, then when he got married, he wasn't going to have any kids. 3 years later they had a daughter. She will be entering college about the time he retires (wife is about 8 years younger than him).

 

Hasn't it always been like that? The thought of another depression, cold war, ect.

Mike,
Do your friends get envious at your ability to do what you want, to work hard and make a very nice living (which would hard to do with kids I imagine)?

 

I challenge anyone to tell me, with out religion, what marriage ADDS to a relationship.

 

not sure how much help this will be...seing as I am only 20.

I don't ever want kids...I consider myself a mature person and my thinking is usually very mature (i think) and I have thought about kids. I just have absolutely no desire. I have never liked kids...even when I was one, so how am I supposed to take care of something that I won't liike?

I don't think you will have a problem finding a woman. Seeing as I am one and I REALLY don't want kids, and my aunt, who is almost 50 has never wanted and will never have kids...Im sure there are many more of us out there.

Also...you are only 30-enjoy your life (not saying you can't enjoy your life w/kids...its just not for some people)

hope that helped

-Jess

 

From what I see, it's generally the wrong people that are breeding and having large families.

 

Like the others said.... stick to your guns.

When I was 18: "You'll want kids someday." Nope.
When I was 28: "You'll want kids someday." Nope.
When I was 38: "You'll want kids someday." Nope.

Now I'm in my 40's and ..... N o p e.

 

I want no marriage and no kids. Lifes too short to be slowed down by wife and kids. My brother has given me a little nephew to spoil and they want another baby next year. So I think that will do me. Although my g/f may have other plans.............but ill show her the door. She knows my intentions fully.

 

Neither my wife nor I wanted kids -- in fact, the subject came up during the very first date. The many nephews and nieces provide enough 'kid time', and we can give them back when they're cranky, sick or we're just tired of them. I've never felt any desire to have a kid of my own, and neither has she.

That's a good thing, because we're splitting for unrelated reasons. It's a friendly split, but I can imagine how bad it would be if we were talking custody and child support. I have a couple of friends who have told me flat out that they would have already divorced if it weren't for the fact that the kids would be harmed. I suppose that kind of tie can be a good thing, depending on perspective.

One last thing -- the social pressure to have kids never goes away, and after a certain point some people don't know how to interact with you if you don't have kids. Their lives are filled with soccer and 'blast ball' and recitals and all this stuff that you simply don't have to do, and there's no common ground. That's not necessarily bad, but it can cause awkwardness.

 

Survivor benefits, spousal health care, legal authority to pull the plug in the worst-case-scenario.

 

I have never wanted children and, fortunately, I was able to find a woman who also never wanted children....she was so sure of her convictions, she was 'fixed' in her mid-20s!(was not easy to find a Dr. who would do that due to her age).
Most of the friends we have also don't have kids nor do they want them. There are a lot of us out there; you ain't alone. Stick to your convictions. My wife and I, as well as all of our childless friends, don't feel like we're missing out on a thing. As a matter of fact, we feel like it's those with children that are actually 'missing out'.

On another note, the one friend I have that went from a "no kids" stance to "okay dear, we'll have one kid" is so very sorry that he did so. I've heard from so many people that have children, "If I had it to do over again, I'm not sure I'd have children."

 

I wouldn't trade my kids for anything - I can't imagine life without them.

On the other hand, we have friends who don't have kids and they're OK too. If you don't want them, you'd better not have any because they take up about 20+ years of your life to raise properly.

If you decide your wife, g/f or the F-car is getting old, you can always dump them... hard to do w/ kids. I'd get the V if I were you.

 

I've never wanted kids either and don't care if I ever do, everything changes once you have them partys over, no more spur of the moment overnight road trips or night outs, everything must be planned well in advance, babysitters etc.

Concerning the natural selection comment I think more intelligent people put more thought into having kids or not, the opposite of many people who don't realize the impact of having kids on their lives, then you see childrern or teenagers with kids especially if the are illegals which is one of the first things they do here so their kids are now US Citizens now able to collect welfare and such, what a life.

fact is I never could have taken the financial risks I have if I had kids to worry about.

 

+ 1
no desire for kids.

 

+1

 

Geesh...no one wants kids...hmmm

Well, to each his own. Do what makes you happy.

I never felt strongly about having kids, but now do. In hindsight, its the greatest accomplishment of my life. I am at my absolute happiest when I am playing with my kids.

Are they an enormous amount of work? Absolutely.
Am I sleep deprived? Absolutely.
Are they financially draining? Absolutely?
Will they slow me down financially? Likely.

Would I do it again? No doubt.

Might I feel differently if my kids were horrible little monsters? Probably.

But, lets review my day:

Wake up at 7 am: Drag 2 half asleep boys to the bathroom, help them dress, drop them off at school. During this time, my boys hug me, tell me they love me, smile, share their food, and wish me a "great day daddy." My little girl runs around in diapers, smiling like a delusional manic, giving me kisses and hugs.

I go to work: People are rude, unpleasant, demanding. I am stressed, and worn out.

Come home: Kids hug me, smile, and make me jump on a trampoline. I "have to" help them play video games . I help them draw the alphabet, and sound out letters.

We go to sleep. On of the boys jumps in bed, and wants to be my "sleeping buddy." "I love you sooooo much daddy. Will you buy me a Power Ranger?" He proceeds to give me a "super hug" (hand and leg hug, topped off with a kiss ), and we go to sleep.

Any guesses on which part of my day I prefer?

IF you have kids, and IF you spend the time/energy/love to raise them right, you will be rewarded a 1000 fold. You would not be able to contemplate life ohterwise.

IF you don't have the desire/time to do this, then don't. Nothing wrong with it. But don't try too hard to convince yourself, that life without kids is better...it isn't ( IMHO ). Its the same as the poor guy trying to convince the successful guy, that money and success don't matter at all. Same hollow argument. But both have a steep price to pay, and many choose not to pursue it...

 

I have four children and three granchildren and other than God and my wife, they are the most important people in my life. To watch your own children grow and experience life is a joy that can't be had anywhere else. "I love you daddy" is like music to my ears...as far as time enjoying cars is concerned, I take my wife and children to races, track days, car shows ect... and they seem to have as much fun as I do. And, my children will be "car guys" when they get older and have a car and I will then get to enjoy those type events with them...and who knows, one of them could be an F1 WC in 2016? I too know married couples without children and I do not see them as happy as couples with children...they just seem to be missing something in their life..especially around the various holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, ect...by the way,a selfish reason to have children is to have someone to help care of you when you get old.

 

Am 41, got married for the first time a year ago, neither of us want kids. i have been fixed BTW. Children are a personal choice. While some people feel the need to breed, that is great and am happy for them. If you do not want children that is your choice and do not feel pressured into changing that.

Children are indeed a blessing and am happy others want to have them. My lifestyle choice, and that of my lovely/smart/fun/happy wife is for no children too. We are very happy about our decision and have zero doubts concerning our choice.

An option, if you so choose, is to get some sp$rm frozen and then get a V. While the odds are high in the ability to reverse a V, frozen is a backup.

Please be careful as have heard quite a few times about men who did not want children getting women pregnant. The women say they are on the pill or can not have kids, etc. Just be careful, a V is good insurance.

 

I understand your right to not have children, and I hope you find happiness that way.But, just what sort of lifestyle is it that prohibits children...are you a porn star or something ? We travel to the Caribbean at least twice a year, Europe, F1 races, track events, concerts, nice dinners out, romantic weekend retreats and more and our children have never been a hinderance. We take them with us sometimes and leave them with the grandparents sometimes...I'm just curious as to what type of lifestyle one would have that children would not enhance rather than burden?

 

You can start with the various goverment benefits only married couples get, such as the right of survivorship in social security, right of inheritance without the necessity of a will, etc, etc.

In the event of a castrosphic event, right to support, etc. In short, it provides for a definitive program which allows the participants to have the knowledge that once you've invested decades, you will have some security. If you think that isn't important, ask your wife or significant other.

Art