Marriage For Men SUCKS! | FerrariChat

Marriage For Men SUCKS!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by modernman, Jul 16, 2016.

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  1. modernman

    modernman Rookie
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    Feb 2, 2012
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    Seriously who is here getting married soon? And why are you doing it? You want to support your soon to be ex wife for life?? Pay her vaginamony when she divorces you, pay for her shoes, fake up, pay for her Starbucks crapaccinos?
    Then she cheats on you, files for "no fault divorce" and takes half of your money and resources... sounds like a "great" deal, not!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdDFDuhyfYg
     
  2. tundraphile

    tundraphile F1 Veteran

    May 16, 2007
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  3. Wade

    Wade Three Time F1 World Champ
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  4. modernman

    modernman Rookie
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  5. JasonMiller

    JasonMiller F1 Rookie
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    Sounds like you dont know how to choose a woman! Married 20 years to the greatest gal on earth we have a ton of fun together,, I would hate to be single these days :)
     
  6. tomc

    tomc Two Time F1 World Champ

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    I suspect picking the right wife is like picking the right Ferrari. Pick the right one, you're a lucky ducky indeed. Get a lemon, you'll be hating life...T
     
  7. paulchua

    paulchua Cat Herder
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    +1

    Plus marriage is not for everybody. It works for some, for others it doesn't. The key is figuring out where you fall on that divide. I know many happily married folks (myself included) - I know many miserable married people.

    Same with non-married or single.

    It's corny and cliche' - but you got to figure yourself out first before you make (not not make that commitment.) Thank God that we live in a country where one is not 'forced' to get married.

    Make up your own mind, then live it.

    Cheers and good luck.
     
  8. Bas

    Bas Four Time F1 World Champ

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    I know far too many people that seemed happy that got a shock divorce. Also plenty of people that even before they got married you already knew ''that'll end in tears...''. It's very rare to see it all work out properly. I really am happy for the people that ''make it through'' (presumably the ''magic'' age of them probably not divorcing is late 50's). They have their ups and downs but fight through it.

    It's a terrifying prospect for me. Don't have anyone significant in my life at the moment as I'm working full time and things heading in a good direction financially speaking, so when I do meet a woman it may be tough for me to deal with why she's with me...money or me? I guess a pre-nup will sort it out but will always remain a sore subject to bring up. And awkward.

    Further more on the terrifying scale of things: It's happening more and more now that you see a couple divorce, and only afterwards the guy builds up his company and becomes successful, ex wife finds out about this (even one case when the couple was divorced for 20 years already!) and still demands a pay-out. How such a thing is even considered in court I don't understand.
     
  9. tomc

    tomc Two Time F1 World Champ

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    ^ I've also read about those ex post facto divorce settlements. Doesn't seem fair...T
     
  10. desmomini

    desmomini F1 Rookie
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    Are you talking about child support or alimony?

    Child support makes sense, as that is a contract subject to revision for a pre-determined period of time. If it's alimony, on the other hand, that is nuts.
     
  11. Cigarzman

    Cigarzman F1 Veteran
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    Just for the record. I went to trial in 1991 for a 9 year marriage and I'm paying lifetime alimony. She took me back to court 11 years later and got more. :eek:
     
  12. tundraphile

    tundraphile F1 Veteran

    May 16, 2007
    5,083
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    Sounds like you got extremely lucky in your choice. Many people ascribe their successful marriage to the great choices they made, in truth that was part of it but also the other person had consistent, honest qualities that made the union last. A despite maturity, psychological knowledge, etc...in the end it comes down to luck.

    (A) I could introduce you to a woman who is beautiful, flattering, incredibly supportive and empathetic, hard-working, level-headed. You both talk about the future and have hopes and plans and start to work together to realize them. A woman who would **** your brains out then make you a pot pie and smile while doing both. You would think you hit the girlfriend jackpot.

    (B) Then get married and everything changes over time. Some things subtly, some not so much. She knows to extricate yourself out of this union will cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars, and even worse your children are used a leverage. No more pot pies, much less the other. It devolves into "your role" is to support her at all times to the detriment of your own career, even though you make the lion's share of the household income. She demands the best of everything, you get the bill and any scraps of money or time left over, you might get to enjoy. Hope for the future is gone, just slogging through life. There is a history of cancer in both of your families, maybe someday one of you will get lucky.

    Now I ask you. After paragraph A, you too would have married her, but through luck you didn't get paragraph B. I highly, highly doubt anyone can predict the future of how someone will grow and change over time. A woman (or man) like the one described above will have an unconscious ability to understand how to stroke your ego, to fill in the exact holes in your life to make you fall in love with them. Once they have caught that fish though, fillet it up piece by piece.
     
  13. tundraphile

    tundraphile F1 Veteran

    May 16, 2007
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  14. modernman

    modernman Rookie
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    WOW :eek:

    California? How many years were you married??? Men are getting screwed over in divorce courts.
     
  15. modernman

    modernman Rookie
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    I suggest you date, don't move in together, don't get married and if you don't want kids, wear condoms or get a vasectomy. Women are conniving creatures if they want their way... Tom Leykis 101...
     
  16. Bas

    Bas Four Time F1 World Champ

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    Alimony cases. Madness.

    As for child support, some women claiming huge amount of money for it (10K plus a month, or deeper into the 5 figure range). No kid goes through stuff that quickly to warrant that amount in child support. Sure, a better, private school etc...but IMO a lot of women are spending a ****load of the child support on their own.
     
  17. Cargirl_

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    Unless you are looking for a second family next time around: Date someone that has the same interests as you. Keep two separate residences. Don't mix your finances. Simple:)
     
  18. afwrench

    afwrench Formula Junior

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    #1 Love ,a disease cured by marriage. #2 Marriage ,a ceremony involving 2 rings.One on the girls finger and the other through the mans nose.
     
  19. Cigarzman

    Cigarzman F1 Veteran
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    Florida , married for 9 yrs. Believe it or not it's all good now because I have what I refer to as " acceptance ".
     
  20. Devilsolsi

    Devilsolsi F1 Veteran
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    At least here... the way child support is calculated is pretty straight forward. It is a combination of both of your incomes, who has primary custody, amount spent for child care expenses, etc.. It is a formula and spits out a number. Both parents can come to their own agreement, outside of this formula.

    The woman would have to prove that there are expenses that high to have it factored in. If they truly are spending $10K on child care, then that would get factored in as long as it can be proven.
     
  21. paulchua

    paulchua Cat Herder
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    #21 paulchua, Aug 9, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2016
    This is a good point. In the scenario you describe, I would say to hold off. If marriage is in a place of uncertainty for anyone, I would recommend abstention. I agree that people change and figuring yourself out never really ends, but I've seen most people pretty much have themselves figured at some point in their later life. That's where one should pull (or not pull the trigger).

    If you gotta question marriage my view is is that's your answer right there. Dont get married unless your very sure it's whatand who you want.

    Cheers
     
  22. tomc

    tomc Two Time F1 World Champ

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    Kirk... If it's not too personal, had something changed in those 9 years? You became more financially successful? So, she decided to have another payday. If that's too nosy, by all means ignore...T
     
  23. Bas

    Bas Four Time F1 World Champ

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    I'm not entirely sure how it's done here, sorry. I do know that the system is screwed. My aunt had an affair and got a divorce, and married the guy she had an affair with. He's bloody loaded. i.e. no need for support, right? Obviously he still paid child support, which is fine...but he also had to pay her alimony until last year I believe (10 years or thereabouts!). Due to recession her ex's business failed, lost everything, got married again and that one also took whatever was left, he moved into a friends place, had nothing anymore, no car even. Still had to pay the last few months of alimony. Bizarre world.
     
  24. modernman

    modernman Rookie
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    As in you accepted your fate? :eek:
     
  25. 88Testarossa

    88Testarossa Formula 3

    Sep 25, 2012
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    Going on 39 years for me...sometimes, you just get lucky and make a great choice.
    Never been happier or regretted my decision for one minute.

    It isn't for everyone, obviously, given the divorce rate in the US.


    Sent by itsy bitsy electrons
     

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