Joke. | Page 134 | FerrariChat

Joke.

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Fan512bbi, Jan 15, 2005.

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  1. jefffromcanada

    jefffromcanada Formula 3
    Silver Subscribed

    Nov 2, 2006
    1,154
    Alberta
    A man in his 60s approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.

    'Excuse me, but I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'

    The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the older fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'

    'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a young woman with big tits, she appears out of nowhere.'
     
  2. jefffromcanada

    jefffromcanada Formula 3
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    Nov 2, 2006
    1,154
    Alberta
    During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way:
    "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 km through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few leaks behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers.

    Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

    "No," I replied, "I'm just a ****ty golfer".
     
  3. 2281GT

    2281GT Formula 3
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    Oct 9, 2006
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    Germany
    Full Name:
    Markus
    #3328 2281GT, Jan 29, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  4. NeuroBeaker

    NeuroBeaker Advising Moderator
    Moderator

    Oct 1, 2008
    38,742
    Huntsville, AL., USA
    Full Name:
    Andrew
    Her logic is flawed. If he wasn't drinking beer, he'd be drinking some other, potentially non-alcoholic, beverage. Therefore, he wouldn't be saving the full price of the beer plus tip, he'd only be saving the difference between the price of the beer and the price of the new refreshment.

    :D

    All the best,
    Andrew.
     
  5. nicholasn

    nicholasn Formula 3

    Nov 7, 2013
    2,232
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    Nicholas
    Damn, I was going to post that!

    Here's one...


    I was in a bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "hello ladies are you three lassies from Scotland?

    One of them angrily screeched "it's Wales, you bloody idiot, Wales!

    So I apologized and replied "I am so sorry. Are you the three wales from Scotland?"

    And that's the last thing I remember.
     
  6. Fast_ian

    Fast_ian Two Time F1 World Champ

    Sep 25, 2006
    23,397
    Campbell, CA
    Full Name:
    Ian Anderson
    Helluva thread revival! :)

    Some good **** I hadn't noticed before!

    Cheers,
    Ian
     
  7. NeuroBeaker

    NeuroBeaker Advising Moderator
    Moderator

    Oct 1, 2008
    38,742
    Huntsville, AL., USA
    Full Name:
    Andrew
    This is off-topic, not P&R. Please use the relevant thread in P&R for political and religious jokes, as they are not permitted anywhere else on FChat.

    All the best,
    Andrew.
     
  8. BJJ

    BJJ Formula 3
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    Feb 25, 2014
    1,301
    OK, neither political nor religious :D

    Why is sex with a femal teacher better than with any other woman?

    Because afterwards she will say "Well done and now we will repeat to whole practice once again".




    Women just laugh mildly for reason of politeness when being told this one ...... :D
     
  9. texasmr2

    texasmr2 Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Oct 22, 2007
    22,232
    Houston
    Full Name:
    Gregg
    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. He looked upward and spoke out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish.”

    The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

    The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking: the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, the concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me.”

    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’ and how I can make a woman truly happy?”

    After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”
     

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