[MEDIA]
Very good .... who has that much time on their hands that they can work all of this out ? At my age sex is just a 3 letter word I have no understanding of
OLIO This will give you a migraine. https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/could-couldnt-care-less
Hmmmmm, whom could this be describing? Image Unavailable, Please Login Silly signature here to annoy KIAI
A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price… the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.' She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!' He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
From a friend Here's something to think about: I recently picked a new GP. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age (I've just reached 80). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?' He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor? 'Oh not much grog these days and don't smoke' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!' Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks, fatty roasts and barbecued Ribs? 'I said, 'Not much; my former doctor said that red meat is unhealthy!' 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, fishing, sailing, surfing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said. He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?' 'No,' I said. He looked at me and said,.. "Then, why the f**k do you want to live to 90?"
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the colour of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humour!” The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, “You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little shyt on your lap.”
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said 'Son we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked 'Son where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!
