Bachelor Pad Guide ... | Page 3 | FerrariChat

Bachelor Pad Guide ...

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by twinturbo, Feb 2, 2004.

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  1. How does it feel now that lowly Nibblesworth just pwned your ass?
     
  2. ralessi

    ralessi Formula 3

    May 26, 2002
    1,093
    Houston, TX
    Full Name:
    Rikk
    am I gay because I sort of want a yorkshire? I think they are cool... hmm
     
  3. twinturbo

    twinturbo Karting

    Nov 10, 2003
    160
    how did he own me? I'm confused ... maybe I'm confused about my manhood? I don't know what's going on now ... maybe I should sh#t on my carpet, burp and fart all the time, then let my clothes collect mold and mildew ... maybe I should go smash someone's face in ... no wait maybe I should take a girl home and say "what? you're on the F&CKING rag get the hell out of my house hooker!!" ... I'm confused ... teach me el commenadotare? I'm such a p#ss for having such a small dog ... I do it to make my d#ck look bigger ... yeah that's it ... I should have a big dog and let it p#ss all over my house and add to the crap that Nibblesworth suggests ... that would surely make me a REAL MAN ... I mean sh#t I've got a big dog what could prove my manhood better than a bigger dog ... f#ck tampons! let her bleed all over my dirty sheets, f#ck a toothbrush! let her stank ass breath match the sh#t in my toilet ... god for bid I have those things? some guy with a (c)ock might think i'm gay???
     
  4. twinturbo

    twinturbo Karting

    Nov 10, 2003
    160
    you've got to be gay dude ... there is no way a straight guy would want such a small dog it's in the man rule book ...


    by the way ... am I gay because I was an amateur body builder, or that I've been a semi-pro grappler for two years, or that I compete during the summer wakeboarding and during the winter snowboarding ... am I gay that I race my R1 at the track and break the law on the weekends with my buddies ... ??? I need to call my fraternity buddies and make sure I'm not gay ... there's no way I could do all this stuff and still keep tampons in my house ... keep girly movies ... have a small dog NO WAY!!!

    I've been owned by the people on this board ... please guys show me the real way to be a MAN ... someone please?
     
  5. Hubert

    Hubert F1 Rookie

    Jan 3, 2002
    2,642
    The Left Coast
    Dario:

    Relax man, why even give credence made by an individual who's
    proud of the following:

     
  6. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
    BANNED

    Nov 29, 2002
    1,756
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    BillyBoy
    I never said you were gay - I just think your pad reeks of cliche Don Juan BS that any chick can see though and any guy laughs at. Hey, so bet it.

    Go ahead and spend $3k on a novelty dog. BTW - that'll **** and pi$$ all over your carpet like any other dog will.

    Waste some money on "Hope Floats" and "The English Patient."

    Have a handy-staff of Tampons and Midol handy for chicks that's ain't going to give it up because they are ragging.

    What you described isn't a bachelor pad - it's a wanna-be love nest. I don't think any chick will fall for a closet full of Target clothes, a drawer full of new panties, a bathroom full of feminine napkins, and a (laughing my a$$ off) Tea-Cup Terrier. I think that chicks will see that ****, immediately recognize you as a player, and brush you off like a bad case of dandruff.

    Bachelors, at least the men bachelors among us, don't spend their time making thier house into a comfortable place for women. Bachelors spend their time making their homes confortable for *them*.

    Dude - looks like your dream pad would accomplish what a $6 bottle of wine and a smooth tounge would do.
     
  7. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
    BANNED

    Nov 29, 2002
    1,756
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    BillyBoy

    Ooops...sorry. Didn't see that. You should have mentioned that in your first post and I would have ignored you from the beginning.
     
  8. jasono

    jasono Rookie

    Nov 22, 2003
    11
    Damn, I really like "The English Patient"...
     
  9. JaguarXJ6

    JaguarXJ6 F1 Veteran

    Feb 12, 2003
    5,459
    Black Hawk, CO
    Full Name:
    Sunny
    Now thats how steak is done! lol

    The big secret is finding a woman who looks past that ****. If you aren't happy living the way you want it, then your not putting your best foot forward.

    However, if it works for you, well.. than.. your in a different part of the country than I'm in! Out here, you'll be a lonely man.

    A good wife is worth a thousand good girlfriends.

    Sunny
     
  10. rudy

    rudy Formula Junior

    Jan 13, 2004
    363
    Los Angeles California
    Full Name:
    Rudy Hassen

    HERE HERE!
     
  11. bluekawala

    bluekawala Formula Junior

    Jan 22, 2004
    436
    Ormond Beach, FL
    Well I'm with you twin turbo. I don't have the cleanest dorm, and I don't carry tampons, but I think a chick "friendly" atmosphere can go along way. It helps me! ;) With that said though, if a "man's" place should be dirty and have two day old pizza sitting on the table/floor by the empty cheap beer cans then maybe I'm less of a man. Either way that gets me more women though I say, as the stupid guy on a tv somewhere once said "don't hate the player, hate the game!" ;)

    I don't want some playground argument though, I just say its a funny joke and leave it alone.
     
  12. HEY KILLER, when are you guys going to give my Barbra Streisand records back?? Bring them over tomorrow night....and bring that adorable little puppy you have been hiding, OK?

    XOXOXOXO
     
  13. jordan747_400

    jordan747_400 F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Dec 9, 2002
    6,928
    Houston, TX
    Full Name:
    Jordan
    Nothing wrong with bodybuilding. I competed in a local contest a year and a half ago and afterwards, unfortunately due to a leg injury, lost a lot of mass in my legs and am horribly out of shape right now. Didnt win the contest though...too much bodyfat and not enough definition. Im getting back into it though. The contest was when I was 17 and I had 44 inch chest, 29 inch waist, 16.5 inch arms, 16.5 inch calves, and 24.5 inch legs. Weighed 180. Ive since lost 35 pounds of muscle mass and a few inches of size :( Getting it back though!
     
  14. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Dec 6, 2002
    79,143
    Houston, Texas
    Full Name:
    Bubba
    Sorry I'm late guys, I was sidetracked looking for why Houston was running low on Cristal, then I ended up in a Hip Hop chat room where this fine babe was talkin' smack about "40 things men do wrong".
    (All items sexual in nature!)

    And she was giving as good as she was gettin'. Wow.

    Two comments on my environment, from sources as noted:

    Potential GF #1, Masters degree in psychology, 38DD, former Olympic gymnast, as she dropped in one day:

    "It figures that you, of all people, would have a race car in your living room." In reference to two racing karts, blocked up on the carpet in front of the fireplace.

    Potential GF #2, good Catholic, single mother of four, really fun girl, and excellent conversational partner:

    "You don't so much live in a house as you live in a museum of motor racing history." After review of five glass bookcases of Ferrari die cast cars.

    FWIW, I found some feminine products a date left under the sink, she was the first hot sex partner since the divorce, starting to get too comfortable at my place. Now don't get me wrong, a new toothbrush is okay, but I threw out the ****** kit and napkins.

    I did keep the sesame massage oil. The Catholic girl liked it!

    Those tampons come in sizes, you know! LOL

    My .02.
     
  15. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 1, 2003
    12,026
    Beverly Hills
    I gotta say as a photographer and world traveller.

    Art from all over, tribal crap from the wild jungles of the rose bowl swap meet, photos taken of a casbah, camels, the eiffel tower in cheesier than thou fashion, or holding up the tower of pisa.

    funny that i never take my cameras on trips unless i am getting paid and therefore insured. so i settle for ecclectic trinkets from all over. like a lamp i got in Fez, a tiny buddha from nepal, some french tourist maps mounted with cheesey postcards on a wall in the hall, me riding in the peloton with greg lemond to my right and fignon, chiapucci in the foreground on an ascent into l'alps d'huez for a training ride, with a name/number placard for lemond hanging autographed next to his tour de france feedbag. a shot of schumacker on a podium on a ferrari flag with an empty magnum (autographed) at the foot. this is for the garage, should you want to show off your cars (bartering for attention)

    a shrine of tacky sand in jars from beeches all over. anything that can be followed up with a droll yet exotic cultural footnote/anecdote for the guest rooms.

    In my living room i have photos i took of models and celebs for my book, and me with my baby cousin (she is a tiny barbie in training and the girls think, stable, family guy)

    pictures or signs of former girlfriends, gets the fur up and the impression you are more desirable to other women.

    A WELL STOCKED KITCHEN I love to cook for guests even if it is just pastries. Plus I have some neat german, italian, and japanese imported foods and containers, looking very much like emeril's kitchen.

    Rose garden. Hey we all need to unwind, and when I stopped cycling i needed a hobby to occupy my spare 6 hours everyday, so a nice garden for fresh cut flowers. Not only car I build a mena motor, mix chemicals for pyrotechnic effects and go skeet shooting, but you can't beat my barbara bushes (rose vartiant i found in napa and grew down here)

    All of these rotate in moderation, all at once is too much.
     
  16. jordan747_400

    jordan747_400 F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Dec 9, 2002
    6,928
    Houston, TX
    Full Name:
    Jordan
    AHA! Tim, now I know your secrets. Time to steal your women :)

    Of course I can be persuaded to keep my mouth shut *cough cough* :)
     
  17. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 1, 2003
    12,026
    Beverly Hills

    Now all you have to do is drug them and bring them back to your lair.
     
  18. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Dec 6, 2002
    79,143
    Houston, Texas
    Full Name:
    Bubba
    Isn't that called "The Max Factor method?"
     
  19. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 1, 2003
    12,026
    Beverly Hills
    New additions to the thread after chatting with a couple of *younger* girls that came over in the last few weeks. ;) Including a rare 26 year old, I am moving up in the foodchain. Sometimes I act like Johnny Knoxville, and I still can't shake them so it must work.

    -more than a pricey purebred show winner, a tiny mutt works well, my model Kalani has a Dachsund + Fox Terrier mix and when I take her out, I get a better response than a high maintenance *****. B itches attract b itches.

    Planning on getting serious?
    -something you truly dislike, something you can blame on an ex, so you can have a shared moment, tossing something out, nothing gets her to settle in for the long haul like removing all signs of other women. Go buy something at a swapmeet.


    Tim specific items, use artictic license for these...

    -I literally have wardobe racks of brand new one of a kinds from designers I have bought straight from the runway, or got stuck with after a shoot went wrong ($50-3500). "It looked really good on Gisele Bundchen, but baby, you look hotter" Playing dress up in haute couture is fun, and for her little insecurities, she'll kick it up a notch if she thinks she has to compete. This works on the young naiive, and then the 30-something-missed-the-boat-and-all-her-friends-are-wondering-when-she-is-going-to-settledown type. Avoid the jaded 20 somethings that 'know' they can do better than you.

    -webcam, well no not really, only if you plan on pulling a Tim and having a threesome with your models, or use when you have been dating a while and can do a goofy webcam posed shot, it works to the effect of proclaiming you are ready to surrender to your couple-ness.
     
  20. ashsimmonds

    ashsimmonds F1 World Champ

    Feb 14, 2004
    14,385
    adelaide, australia
    Full Name:
    Humble Narrator
    alright. i just bought a hand-cart full of tampons. i'm in. :)

    now, how do i get chicks to come to my place...
     
  21. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 1, 2003
    12,026
    Beverly Hills
    B U M P 3 years after the last post lol
     
  22. Asian1118

    Asian1118 F1 Rookie

    Mar 23, 2005
    3,834
    Shelby twp
    Full Name:
    James
    Ahh this is where this thread went. :)
     
  23. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Sep 1, 2003
    12,026
    Beverly Hills
    back by popular demand!
     

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