Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael (WRX) the archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God: "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made," said God. Archangel Michael (WRX) looked puzzled and said, " what is it ? " "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael (WRX), still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the earth, "For example, Nth America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Sth America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot." "Over there I've placed a continent of white people and here I've placed a continent of black people." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid and this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to another area land and asked,"what's that ?" "Ah", said God. "That's Western Australia, the most glorious place on earth.There are beautiful people, impressive towns; it is the home of the worlds finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and sportsman. The people from Western Australia are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth." Michael (WRX) gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied very wisely, " Wait till you see the wankers I'm putting on the East Coast"
Very old joke. I like this version: Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God: "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made," said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, " what is it ? " "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the earth, "For example, Nth America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Sth America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot." "Over there I've placed a continent of white people and here I've placed a continent of black people." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid and this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to another area land and asked,"what's that ?" "Ah", said God. "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth.There are beautiful mountains, rivers and lakes, forests, hills and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then asked, "What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God smiled "There is another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."
Gotta love The Donald. Footage of him in India tonight singing the praises of "Soooochin Tandulkar"...
BWAHAHAHAH....what an f'ing dick. https://www.9news.com.au/world/donald-trump-india-visit-us-president-mispronounces-sachin-tendulkar-and-virat-kohli-names/034e9652-c93b-42e0-8052-af9cd47f3158
"Hell's Bells." "It's a long way to the shop if you want a Chiko Roll." Party time on the Highway to Hell as Perth pays tribute to AC/DC http://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-02/acdc-tribute-highway-to-hell-rocks-perth/12015120
Holy ...................um...crap!.. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-05/toilet-paper-truck-catches-fire-brisbane/12027262
I used to think I lived in a semi-sane area, but after my visit to Woolies this morning I’ve changed my mind. Not a scrap of toilet paper anywhere and about a dozen people standing around in that area looking panicky. Sadly, I don’t think our society has reached peak stupid yet, but we must be getting close.