Do you have any REALLY awkward moments to share? I'll start: Awkward moment.... About 15 years ago I got roaring, falling down drunk, knee walking drunk. Went home with a total skank that was camouflaged by my thick beergoggles. It was pretty nasty as I recall. Anyway, got up the next morning, beat feet out of there. As I was nursing my hang over that morning , guess who came into the office for a 10:30 appt for a UTI? Talk about awkward.....
And that wasn't even the worst of it. After she figured out who I was, she said I didn't pay her! I said "What da hell are you talking about?" She then said that we had agreed to $120 for the night. Now, I'll admit that could have been true because I was pretty wasted. So I told her that instead of paying her I'd do her visit for free. I could tell she didn't think much of that, I figure she meant to stiff me anyway, but she agreed. Things went fine until during the exam, I couldn't believe my eyes, she was actually a she-male. At that point it all fell in place why she wanted it from the.....you know... in the .....well, you know. Talk about awkward......
So anyway, I was thinking that had to be the worst day of my life. Boy was I wrong. Not only did "she" have GC, she was also HIV positive. Talk about awkward.....
So anyway, as you can imagine that prayed pretty heavily on my mind. I felt pretty bad each time I had relations with my wife on account of the HIV thing. Finally, I decided to go to the health dept in the big town about 60 miles away, figuring I could get checked for HIV without anyone finding out. So anyway, I go and as I'm sitting in the STD line with all form of nasty intercity scum, someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and it is one of my best friends from medical school who is running the clinic. Talk about awkward......
So... I told my bud that I was banging one of the nurses in the clinic, wink, wink, wink... so he checked me and told me he would personally call me on my cell phone. About a week later during dinner the house phone rang. My ten year old picked it up and announced the STD clinic in Asheville wanted me... Talk about awkward.....
Sooooo.... I quickly and cleverly said to my wife that I had a special culture sent over there blah blah blah.... got to the phone and the nurse on the other end told me my GC was positive but my HIV was negative. So much for my bud calling my cell phone! I felt pretty good about that until she mentioned that they HAD ALREADY contacted my County Health Dept with the GC results as it is required by law.... talk about awkward......
So....this wouldn't all be so bad except my wife is the director of the County Health Department... Talk about awkward.......
awkward for me -------- The first time I hit my wife [ which was on the first date, that whore ] I had god horrible stomach cramps all that evening. I was holding in massive farts the entire night. After we did the deed, I was getting dressed and ripped the loudest fart imaginable !!!! I felt sooooooo embarrassed !! I didnt know what to say except, excuse me....... Her reply was --- dont worry about it.... This is a true story !!! If it were her that blasted one, I would have high tailed it outa their !!
Uro, John, Did, by chance, these incidents happen while Daylight Savings Time was in effect? Just wondering.... Mike in Kuwait
Well, you know how DST messes up the plants and everything. Just ask Collin, er, Husker... Fortunately Uro's car is trail rated, so he doesn't have to worry about getting stuck in the mud (I wonder if he considered that when he was with the he/she) BT
In HS/college a friend of mine had a beautiful sister that was only a year older than us. It was somewhat of a running joke between us how much I would have liked to date her. But it was obviously never going to happen. A couple of years later and she is married and very pregnant. My friend jokingly asks me if I would still like to date her while the two of us were just having a beer. My reply was that now it would be like putting gas in a car that was already wrecked. Fast forward to the next weekend and all of us are having dinner at his family's house. Sister, her husband, parents, everybody. My "friend" thoroughly enjoys himself telling this story to his sister and B-I-L while I'm sitting there. My big mouth got me into trouble I guess. But it was quite awkward.
Ok, where are the cell phone pix? You can't be truly guilty until your wife sees the images & somebody posts on internet. For you it's he says, she says IMO & gender is irreverent. No worries...
From what you remember, how was it w/ the he/she? That stuff the boys are so good at must have made an impression on you. I have a wild story to tell too but not sure I would tell here as a death was involved.
