Awkward Moments. | FerrariChat

Awkward Moments.

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by UroTrash, Jul 14, 2008.

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  1. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    Do you have any REALLY awkward moments to share?

    I'll start:

    Awkward moment....


    About 15 years ago I got roaring, falling down drunk, knee walking drunk. Went home with a total skank that was camouflaged by my thick beergoggles. It was pretty nasty as I recall.

    Anyway, got up the next morning, beat feet out of there.

    As I was nursing my hang over that morning , guess who came into the office for a 10:30 appt for a UTI?

    Talk about awkward.....
     
  2. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    And that wasn't even the worst of it. After she figured out who I was, she said I didn't pay her! I said "What da hell are you talking about?" She then said that we had agreed to $120 for the night. Now, I'll admit that could have been true because I was pretty wasted.

    So I told her that instead of paying her I'd do her visit for free. I could tell she didn't think much of that, I figure she meant to stiff me anyway, but she agreed.

    Things went fine until during the exam, I couldn't believe my eyes, she was actually a she-male. At that point it all fell in place why she wanted it from the.....you know... in the .....well, you know.


    Talk about awkward......
     
  3. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    So anyway, I was thinking that had to be the worst day of my life. Boy was I wrong. Not only did "she" have GC, she was also HIV positive.

    Talk about awkward.....
     
  4. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    So anyway, as you can imagine that prayed pretty heavily on my mind. I felt pretty bad each time I had relations with my wife on account of the HIV thing.

    Finally, I decided to go to the health dept in the big town about 60 miles away, figuring I could get checked for HIV without anyone finding out.

    So anyway, I go and as I'm sitting in the STD line with all form of nasty intercity scum, someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and it is one of my best friends from medical school who is running the clinic.

    Talk about awkward......
     
  5. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
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    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    So... I told my bud that I was banging one of the nurses in the clinic, wink, wink, wink... so he checked me and told me he would personally call me on my cell phone.

    About a week later during dinner the house phone rang. My ten year old picked it up and announced the STD clinic in Asheville wanted me...

    Talk about awkward.....
     
  6. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    Sooooo.... I quickly and cleverly said to my wife that I had a special culture sent over there blah blah blah....

    got to the phone and the nurse on the other end told me my GC was positive but my HIV was negative.

    So much for my bud calling my cell phone!

    I felt pretty good about that until she mentioned that they HAD ALREADY contacted my County Health Dept with the GC results as it is required by law....

    talk about awkward......
     
  7. UroTrash

    UroTrash Four Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    40,486
    Purgatory
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    So....this wouldn't all be so bad except my wife is the director of the County Health Department...

    Talk about awkward.......
     
  8. Red4RECAT

    Red4RECAT Formula Junior

    Jun 5, 2006
    372
    MD
    Full Name:
    Cyndi T
    Who ALSO slept with the she-male? :)
     
  9. DrStranglove

    DrStranglove FChat Assassin
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Oct 31, 2003
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    Full Name:
    DrS
    Dan's drinking at work again.....
     
  10. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,938
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    LMAO i think i agree with you mate :D
     
  11. Lee in Texas

    Lee in Texas Formula Junior

    Oct 21, 2006
    685
    near Austin, TX
    Full Name:
    Lee
    Uhhh, well, I guess you got me beat.
     
  12. Samimi

    Samimi Formula 3

    Oct 17, 2005
    1,699
    North of the 49th
    Full Name:
    S.
    Oh man, sucks to be you...

    ....so what happened? Did she find out?
     
  13. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,645
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    awkward for me --------

    The first time I hit my wife [ which was on the first date, that whore ] I had god horrible stomach cramps all that evening. I was holding in massive farts the entire night. After we did the deed, I was getting dressed and ripped the loudest fart imaginable !!!! I felt sooooooo embarrassed !! I didnt know what to say except, excuse me....... Her reply was --- dont worry about it....
    This is a true story !!! If it were her that blasted one, I would have high tailed it outa their !!
     
  14. 285ferrari

    285ferrari Two Time F1 World Champ
    Sponsor

    Sep 11, 2004
    20,958
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    Full Name:
    Robbie
    and never got a tramp stamp with my name on it.....
     
  15. DGS

    DGS Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed

    May 27, 2003
    71,892
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    DGS
    ... and she was raising alpacas ... ;)
     
  16. Evan.Fiorentino

    Evan.Fiorentino F1 Rookie

    Aug 23, 2005
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    South East Florida
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    Evan
    I would feel bad for you if it was true...Hell, I still feel bad for you! You had to type all this!
     
  17. Dilancer

    Dilancer F1 Rookie

    Jan 28, 2007
    3,388
    Los Angeles
    Full Name:
    Dilan B.
    LMAO!! Oh man! I'm on the ground crying. :D :D
     
  18. zippyslug31

    zippyslug31 Formula 3

    Sep 28, 2007
    2,075
    PDX
    Full Name:
    Kevin M.
    If I had a nickle for every time this has happened to me...
     
  19. mseals

    mseals Two Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Sep 9, 2007
    24,468
    Kuwait
    Full Name:
    Mike Seals
    Uro, John,

    Did, by chance, these incidents happen while Daylight Savings Time was in effect?

    Just wondering....

    Mike in Kuwait
     
  20. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,645
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    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    yes, why ???
     
  21. BT

    BT F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Mar 21, 2005
    15,291
    FL / GA
    Full Name:
    Bill Tracy
    Well, you know how DST messes up the plants and everything. Just ask Collin, er, Husker... Fortunately Uro's car is trail rated, so he doesn't have to worry about getting stuck in the mud (I wonder if he considered that when he was with the he/she)
    ;)
    BT
     
  22. tundraphile

    tundraphile F1 Veteran

    May 16, 2007
    5,083
    Missouri
    In HS/college a friend of mine had a beautiful sister that was only a year older than us. It was somewhat of a running joke between us how much I would have liked to date her. But it was obviously never going to happen.

    A couple of years later and she is married and very pregnant. My friend jokingly asks me if I would still like to date her while the two of us were just having a beer. My reply was that now it would be like putting gas in a car that was already wrecked.

    Fast forward to the next weekend and all of us are having dinner at his family's house. Sister, her husband, parents, everybody. My "friend" thoroughly enjoys himself telling this story to his sister and B-I-L while I'm sitting there.

    My big mouth got me into trouble I guess. But it was quite awkward.
     
  23. Rickenbach

    Rickenbach F1 World Champ
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    Nov 20, 2005
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    Rickenhoser
    Took Mike a while to get an answer.
     
  24. Equus

    Equus Rookie

    Jun 16, 2011
    29
    USA
    Full Name:
    Ken Robbins
    #24 Equus, Jun 24, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2011
    Ok, where are the cell phone pix? You can't be truly guilty until your wife sees the images & somebody posts on internet. For you it's he says, she says IMO & gender is irreverent. No worries...
     
  25. Equus

    Equus Rookie

    Jun 16, 2011
    29
    USA
    Full Name:
    Ken Robbins
    #25 Equus, Jun 24, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2011
    From what you remember, how was it w/ the he/she? That stuff the boys are so good at must have made an impression on you. I have a wild story to tell too but not sure I would tell here as a death was involved.
     

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